The End of an Era
The average American will spend one-third of their waking life working. With high-pressure corporate jobs and work from home blurring boundaries, it’s more than probable that this number edges even higher for a majority of people.
As such, it’s no surprise that work is a quintessential part of most people’s identity in the U.S. When most of us go out and meet someone new, an immediate question is often, “So, what do you do?”
For better or for worse, our work becomes an archetype most of us associate ourselves with. It simultaneously becomes an external “market signal” to the world. Oftentimes we will subconsciously judge people’s personalities based on their occupation. Similar to the “market signal” an employer notices when they see someone graduated from an Ivy League university on their resume.
Since the age of 13, I knew I wanted to be an Investment Banker on Wall Street. We were asked as students in middle school Language Arts class to write an essay and create business cards about what we wanted to be when we grew up.
The answer was fairly immediate for me. My mom worked in healthcare finance, and seeing what she did on a daily basis, I wanted to immerse myself in working with numbers too. Not to mention, as I grew up I witnessed family friends who worked in finance afford beautiful houses, have confident demeanors, and mingle with high-flying friends who had jaw-dropping stories. As a teenager it was hard for me not to be wowed by those things. For my school project, I chose to write about becoming an investment banker, with my future company name as “Bakshi Bucks.”
As we stand in 2022, I see courses, videos, and teachers of manifestation, abundance, and the law of attraction more prevalent than ever. Looking back on my life, I can genuinely say I put out the conscious intent to manifest my dream job & life as an investment banker 16 years ago. Now I am reaping the fruits of that manifestation.
I generated the thought, made up my mind, and through my own actions and efforts (along with the benevolence of the Universe), was able to draw that goal towards me and meet it halfway in a co-creative manner.
Since graduating NYU in 2014 with a bachelor’s in economics and history, I have spent the last eight years of my life living my dream.
The work has certainly been demanding, but I knew what I signed up for. 80-100 hour weeks as an analyst were commonplace, as were canceling dinners, dates, and even planned vacations for work that came up.
No job is without its ups and downs. Having dedicated my heart and soul to my profession, I have come away with an intimate understanding of the corporate world, and what so many of us experience on a daily basis.
The people I have been able to meet and the things I have been able to learn, grow through, and experience have had a definite and unmistakable impact on my life. They have refined and developed everything from my work ethic to people skills and technical financial knowledge.
As I reflect on this last week of work at my childhood dream job, the feeling is bittersweet. A cascading intertwine of emotions, thoughts, and feelings braid into a rush of energy that flows through me. Bolts of excitement for the future meet waterfalls of fear and apprehension about security and livelihood. Stoic confidence of my banker life meets the humility and open-hearted forward outlook of a career in service to others.
After dinner last Friday, I spontaneously walked past a nondescript building in Brooklyn. Upon peering in and speaking with the staff out of curiosity, I discovered it was home to the Museum of Future Experience (MoFE). The person at the door mentioned there was a production of their Liminality show set to begin in 4 minutes.
After reading their brief brochure on the experience, I took this synchronistic circumstance as something I was being guided towards experiencing and bought a ticket on the spot.
“Liminality” was coined in 1909 by Aronld van Gennep in his work Rites of Passage to describe the chaos and ambivalence that occurs in the middle stage of a rite of passage. Since then, the term has been used by many to describe the particular strangeness of existing in the space between.
Liminality is also defined as “a state of transition between one stage and the next, especially between major stages in one’s life or during a rite of passage.”
The show was an ambisonic audio/visual VR journey with deep symbolism and a profound subtext into meditation, loving sacrifice, personal existence, and conscious awareness.
After the show concluded, I was shook – shocked, surprised, and in disbelief – that I had been led to the doors of this show exactly a week before my very own liminality was set to occur. Furthermore, the show was exactly the kind of content that my next step in life was going to be focused on.
I am now taking the step, the big jump, the liminality from the steady and secure corporate life I envisioned for myself, into the world of entrepreneurship. A world where standards of life are no longer guaranteed. For me, it is one of the biggest stare-downs with fear of security I have ever experienced.
In a world where change is the only constant we will ever know, the triggers of fear are put there as the cataclysmic gateways for profound inner and outer growth.
A beautiful story that has deeply resonated with me in regards to fear is the Four Maras of Buddhism.
As the story goes, Siddhartha Gautama (Buddha) was meditating under the bodhi tree when a king came upon him and shot swords and arrows in his direction. Instead of running, moving, or even flinching, the Buddha sat there as these forces of fear and destruction came hurtling towards him.
When the swords and arrows got closer to him, they turned into beautiful flowers. The symbolic meaning of this story is one that shows what our fears can become if we choose to sit with them instead of retreating or avoiding them. Our fears can turn into the most beautiful things in our life that help us to grow, learn, and evolve towards our own highest wisdom.
As I move out into the end of an era, I have nothing but immense gratitude and thanks to give my employer and corporate abode of nearly a decade.
Gratitude for the incredibly brilliant people I’ve been able to learn and grow from. People who took the time to teach me their craft, ways of approaching business, clients, financial markets, problems, and critical thinking.
Gratitude for the fast-paced and ever-changing world of live deals, capital markets, attention to detail in times of chaos – and how to conquer it all.
Gratitude for the sense of pure adrenaline running through my veins in my 20s as I learned the ropes of investor and C-suite interactions.
Gratitude for being given immense responsibility so early on in my career, and building relationships and skills that have allowed me to become a better person and coach.
Gratitude for seeing the world through the eyes of an investment banker at one of the preeminent financial institutions.
Gratitude for the value of hard work, overcoming self-doubts, learning new things, being counted on, and showing true grit and determination. My job showed me my self-worth, my growth mindset, my ability to master my craft with efficiency and achieve a level of conscious competence. It showed me that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.
It showed me how to overcome difficulty, stress, and setbacks. And that I am always capable of pulling through – be it hard deals, all-nighters, difficult clients, or sudden changes.
The gratitude I have is for the incredible growth I’ve been able to see in myself as a person.
Spring is a time of change, and with the calendar turning to April, I am welcoming in one of the greatest self-propelled changes in my life that is pushing me outside of my comfort zone and face-to-face with one of my fears.
The books are closing on one era of my life’s journey. An era I had been manifesting for myself since my early teens. However, simultaneously, a fresh page is opening on the liminality of my next chapter as a full-time certified life coach – and I’m choosing to take that directive, and run with it.
