A Brief History of Darkness Retreats

Going into darkness has long been considered a rite of passage for many traditions and cultures dating back thousands of years.

The ancient Greeks descended into caves and underground chambers in order to liberate the soul from the burden of the mortal body, by attaining an altered state of consciousness.

The Prophet Muhammad was believed to receive the First Revelation of the Quran in the Cave of Hira after spending nearly a month in the Saudi Arabian cave meditating and reflecting.

The Buddha meditated and preached sermons from caves in the 6th Century BCE, and evidence has been found of Buddhist monks meditating deep down in the labyrinths of caves dating back to 4,500 BCE.

Some historians also believe that the ancient Egyptians and Mayans would also go into darkness for numerous days at a time, removed from light and sound.

 

Even to today, the highest enlightened healers (known as Mama’s) of the secluded Kogi tribe of Colombia, spend the first nine years of their life in a cave to attune with the cosmic consciousness (“Aluna”), which they believe is the source of all life and intelligence.

My Journey

In June 2023, someone mentioned to me that they recently came back from a week-long darkness retreat. I was beyond fascinated, and in the few minutes of conversation, all they mentioned was, “it was life-changing.”

For some reason, the concept deeply resonated and I felt called to learn more. I researched darkness retreats and specifically the place they mentioned — The Hermitage.

The Hermitage is located on Lake Atitlán in Guatemala. The lake is the result of a volcanic eruption 84,000 years ago and sits 1,500 meters above sea level. The villages surrounding the lake to this day are deeply entrenched in Mayan history and culture, and the lake is believed to be a powerful energetic point in Central America, and the planet as a whole.

 

I reached out to The Hermitage and they mentioned that due to the high demand of their darkness retreats (and with only two rooms available), they had no openings until 2024 at the earliest. They put me on their waiting list and I put it on the backburner until it was meant for me.

Fast forward four months, and while leading our retreat through Egypt, I received a sudden email from The Hermitage mentioning they had a cancellation and last-minute opening for time in December.

This opportunity seemed to nearly perfectly align with a gap between my travels. I immediately jumped on the opportunity, and set my sights on a 12-day silent dark retreat in solitude at their center, inclusive of 6-nights/7-days in darkness.

My Intention

After my mom’s passing in 2020, I received an inner calling to work with the well-known indigenous plant medicine known as ayahuasca. It took me nearly one and a half years until I ultimately did, however there was a consistent inner pull towards the experience that slowly brought me to it in late 2021.

Similarly, this was a calling beyond anything my normal waking and conscious self wanted to do out of solely its own volition.

Over the past couple of years since leaving my cushy Vice President title at Goldman Sachs, my journey across over a dozen countries and nearly one hundred cities has been a journey of deep self-exploration and understanding.

A journey someone recently commented as, “really getting to know yourself.”

It’s been a journey to answer the most fundamental question in my life that has arisen since the passing of my mom — “Who am I?”

My intention with going into complete darkness and solitude for a week is to learn from ancient mystics and cultures the mechanism for unleashing the inner light of wisdom within.

It is only by going through our darkness and shadows, that we can bring the light of our consciousness to ourselves, and in turn, all others.

 

When there is a void of external light that meets the eyes, you must journey deep within to pull the light out for yourself. To show you the light you are, and that there is no darkness (internal or external), which your own divine light cannot illuminate.

Simply put, my intention is to completely let go.

As I’ve progressed on my spiritual path, I have become acutely aware that we are living in a Universe that is intelligent far beyond our human comprehension. From synchronicities, to life-changing opportunities, and endless blessings, we are a collective of sovereign beings holding one another in a self-created environment through the same inner light we all possess. Much like a tennis racket needs all strings perfectly tensioned with one another to create its ideal structure.

That force of Divine Love which holds us all together, is what I consider to be God.

For me, God is not a bearded man on a throne deciding if you go to heaven or hell. God is the energy of Divine Love which through very conscious intention has created everyone and everything we see. It is the same energy which animates a human or a plant. It is the breath of all creation in all things. A likeness which is the fundamental energy in the atoms on a subatomic level, just as it is the force which creates space-time matrices that holds all of our natural laws from gravity to thermodynamics.

As such, what can truly happen in one’s life when they completely let go, and completely let God [flow through them and their life]?

While I’ve gotten a second-hand glimpse in Michael A. Singer’s best-selling book, The Surrender Experiment, I am more interested in living the full experience myself.

What happens when I completely let go of the egoic story of Neal? What happens when I release the narrative I’ve been told and have been telling myself about who I am? What happens when I fully surrender my life into something much larger than myself? What happens when I live in loving service to that energy, and allow it to flow through me for my Highest Good and the Highest Good of All?

This darkness retreat is my experiment in what happens when you allow yourself to completely let go.

What May Happen

In the month leading up to the experience, my emotions varied from excited, to curious, to apprehensive, and worried.

Growing up, I was absolutely terrified of the dark. Even taking the garbage can out to the end of the driveway at night or going into the dark basement of my house as a child deeply frightened me.

Yet as the days drew closer to the experience, an inner knowing that I was strong enough and more than capable to journey through the darkness rested in my heart.

I didn’t allow myself to do much reading on what to expect, as I am going into this experience with no expectations. However, one night before bed, I was feeling particularly curious about what this experience might be like. I read a post by someone who experienced five days in darkness, and have summarized what may happen on the psychophysiological level below.

I will fly into Guatemala City, where I will then embark on a 3.5 hour drive to Lake Atitlán. When I arrive, all electronics will be taken and stowed away until I leave the retreat center 12 days later. The Hermitage is completely off-grid without WiFi or connections to the outside world (although I left emergency contact numbers with my family).

The first couple of days are spent acclimating to the environment and preparing myself to go into darkness. All the while, practicing complete silence.

Source: The Hermitage

In the first 24–48 hours of entering the completely dark room, my body is likely to release a ton of melatonin. This natural hormone that the brain produces as a result of darkness is utilized to regulate our sleep cycles to align with sunlight and darkness. People say that their bodies feel like lead — exceptionally heavy and extraordinarily tired.

After this initial body adjustment passes, they mention that the body is in a deeply relaxed state and the nervous system begins to completely rest and drop into parasympathetic mode, as no external stimulation enters one’s energetic field or sensory perceptions.

Around day three or four, they mention that the body starts to release endogenous DMT (N,N-Dimethyltryptamine). Endogenous DMT is naturally released in the body at two points in life — when you are born and when you die. DMT is also the core psychoactive compound in various plant and earth medicines like ayahuasca and bufo. When this happens, the experiencer can have deep and profound visions, voices, spiritual experiences, and various other effects including merging with cosmic consciousness. This is where aspects of healing, overcoming limiting beliefs, addictions, traumas, and deeper spiritual perspectives on life come into being.

After six nights meditating, I will then emerge on the seventh day at sunrise to allow my body to reacclimate to the light naturally. Some say that the intensity of seeing everything so vibrantly with color and light can be overwhelming to such a delicate nervous system, and care is needed in the following days to reintegrate the body back into the physical world.

 

What about food and going to the bathroom you may ask?

Over the course of each day, two vegetarian meals are delivered via a double-slit door mechanism. The retreat center will open their side on the outside, put the food in, close their door, ring a bell, and I will then open my side. I will eat each meal in complete darkness, as well as go to the bathroom, shower, sleep, and meditate, all without an inkling of light entering my retina.

I will feel around the small enclosure in darkness for all of my necessities — from drinking water to brushing my teeth, and showering.

 

Conclusion

Life is a journey. Every experience and relationship we have is a teacher in some way, shape, or form.

As I journey into an ancient rite of passage which cultures around our world have utilized for millennia, I look to connect with the true essence of who I am.

I go into darkness to see the infinite and endless light within. To completely let go of the egoic stories and narratives, and completely let the divine energy of something much grander than myself flow through me, for me and for all.

In letting go, we simply release the illusion of control we have, and let the divine dance choreograph the performance of our life — free of material attachments and earthly desires. To realize the true essence we are, as the eternal Spirit.

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Neal Bakshi is an angel medium, spiritual guide, energy healer, global retreat leader, breathwork instructor, and best-selling author. He grew up meditating since the age of five and is a former Goldman Sachs investment banking vice president. Neal now guides founders, executives, and professionals across Gen X, Y, and Z to embody and live their dream life through complete energetic shifts on the quantum and superconscious level.

Learn more at www.nealbakshi.com, on Instagram @neal.bakshi, LinkedIn, or via email [email protected].

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