Gratitude in the Now

The other morning after my meditation, I was sitting at my desk thinking about two things that came to me.

The first, was a call to share a conversation on a very controversial word (more to come on this in the future).

The second was about the role of gratitude.

Over the last couple of years, I’ve been enacting a personal gratitude practice that is all about GRATITUDE IN THE NOW.

When something becomes so overly emphasized and talked about, you can often take its original message for granted out of apathy and staleness. Just like that Billboard Top 100 song that’s been overplayed for the last year and a half.

It’s human nature to crave something new and exciting.

However, while everyone talks about being grateful, few people talk about WHY being grateful is so important and impactful.

Also, it’s not just about being grateful, it’s about being grateful for everything in the now.

The next thing that happens to you after reading this – whatever it is – I want you to practice the below line:

“Thank you for this opportunity to ______.”

Thank you for this opportunity to open Instagram on my phone.

Thank you for this opportunity to have a delicious and healthy meal.

Thank you for this opportunity to read a new blog post.

Thank you for this person in my life.

But it’s also not just about being grateful for the “good” things.

Thank you for allowing me to have this difficult conversation.

Thank you for this resistance.

Thank you for this fight I had with my partner.

Gratitude leads to acceptance of what is.

Through acceptance, you can move forward. It means you’re present instead of chasing “what-ifs” (overthinking) or “if-onlys” (regret).

By not accepting, respecting, and appreciating what is, you will always be chasing after the next thing to make you happy.

Thank you amplifies more thank yous. What you appreciate appreciates. When you send out the resonant vibrational frequency of gratitude into the quantum universe, you are sending a sign that you vibrate at that frequency. The more you continue to do it, the more the vibration of the atoms in your body will move to that frequency. As a result – it leads to more thank yous coming your way – a.k.a more things you get to be grateful for!

There is no good or bad, there just is

Gratitude leads to acceptance of what is because there is no good or bad, there just is.

The Default Mode Network (DMN) in your brain is comprised of the Medial Prefrontal Cortex (responsible for planning and decision making), the Posterior Cingulate Cortex (responsible for memory, emotions, and attention), and the Inferior Parietal Lobule (responsible for body image, language, and mathematics).

Together, this network of various regions in the brain is considered by many to be the concept of the “ego.” It is where you process information and then make the resulting judgment call of how a specific situation, person, or event fits into your belief and value system of the world.

The DMN is largely responsible for creating the view of what’s good and bad. Yes, you need it to survive if you’re crossing the street or face-to-face with a lion in the Serengeti. However, you’ve likely taken it too far in the modern world. This can lead to overthinking.

Many times, that desire to judge a situation is ultimately a desire for things to not be as they are. 

But they are that way. Not accepting the things as they are is what is causing you the suffering.

Some might think this view of gratitude in the now is masking the true emotion or positive thinking your way out of things.

But let me ask you a question – what if the world only had your benevolence in mind?

Wouldn’t you then be thankful for all that happens?

Many people say, “everything happens for a reason.” But if you say that, you have to believe it. It’s not just the good things that happen for a reason, but rather everything.

Gratitude = Acceptance

Gratitude isn’t masking or positive thinking your way out of anything. It’s fully ACCEPTING what is. 

On that note, acceptance does not equal complacency. Acceptance means fully understanding, sitting with, and feeling all of what you feel to fully integrate that into your beingness.

It is extreme presence in the now that brings about that awareness. Only from integrating that awareness into your being are you able to devise a path to move forward. This is because you have then decoded all the data through your felt-sense of emotions.

Radical self-acceptance is what allows you to be in the now. That is presence. From there, you can release and let go once you know what is or is not serving you. Afterwards, you can begin to shift, rewire, and make room for the new beliefs.

That job you lost – be grateful for all you learned – and know a better job is on the way.

That breakup you went through – be grateful for how you grew – and know a more caring partner is on the way.

That house fire that broke out – be grateful everyone is safe – and know that the kitchen finally gets to be upgraded.

That loss of a loved one – be grateful for the love you shared – and know that this was necessary for your spiritual awakening.

All things must end. That’s part of what life’s about. Even your existence isn’t permanent. 

Birthdays are precisely that. A celebration of the impermanence of your life.

Gratitude for ALL THAT IS changes EVERYTHING. It allows you to appreciate what is happening alongside the impermanence of all that is.

Feeling emotions and expressing gratitude aren’t mutually exclusive.

You can still be sad and grateful.

You can still be pissed off or angry and grateful.

The emotions are the data which help you process stimuli in the world; while gratitude is the lens of accepting and integrating those stimuli/feelings as a result.

The world is the way YOU choose to look at it. It’s a light show.

A dance of waves and particles. A waltz of quantum entanglement that YOU choose to label as good or bad. The lights aren’t good or bad, they’re just lights.

When I was going through a brutal period of work at Goldman Sachs, I wrote a sticky note and put it on my monitor that reminded me to come back to gratitude for everything in the now. 

It read, “I am grateful for everything happening in my life right now, especially the “busy” and “annoying.” Thank you for helping me grow.” 

Every time I would find myself getting triggered by anything, I would first bring awareness to the emotion so it could be seen. Then, I’d pull myself back into a centered state of gratitude.

I can tell you all the stories under the sun, but the only way you’ll feel how big of a shift you can experience is if you try it yourself – with consistency.

Rule #1 – Treat others the way you want to be treated (The Golden Rule).

Rule #2 – Gratitude for EVERYTHING in the now.

Now as we wrap up, how do you fill in the blank?

“Thank you for this opportunity to ______.”

Let this be the first of many times you say this today and for the weeks, months, and years to come.