In 2022, I read Gabby Bernstein’s book Super Attractor. In it, she shares a really interesting 3-step method which she calls “Choose Again” to break out of negative thought spirals.

 Her core steps are:

1. Notice the Thought

2. Forgive the Thought

3. Choose Again

I really resonated with her technique, and over the past year have found awesome benefits to it.

However, what about life situations that happen to us which are outside of our control? 

How do we break free of the incessant overthinking, sorrow, and self-deprecating thought-energy associated with them?

Taking Gabby’s ideas as a base, I’ve reworked them into 4 Steps to Overcome Difficult Life Situations.

Step 1. Complete Acceptance

Come into full and complete acceptance of what is. Don’t want the situation to be anything other than what it is. Observe it. Sit with it. Be with it. Accept it fully. 

Most often, our greatest suffering is self-created due to the expectations of outcomes we have for a life situation to be any different than it is. But that’s not your role here. Your role is to be the observer of the thoughts. The one watching the thoughts and experiences from the seat of the soul.

Take a step back, see the situation for what it is, and come into a space of full and complete acceptance of it.

Step 2: Treat the Situation with Gratitude

How can we be grateful for this situation? 

This is in no way telling you to spiritually bypass a situation or not feel the associated feelings – that’s what Step 1 is for!

Rather, this is where you reopen your heart aperture to come back into a state of receivership.

Oftentimes, we look back on a situation 3 months, 5 years, or 10 years later and see the silver lining.

“Ah, this wouldn’t have happened if this other [difficult] situation didn’t happen before!”

The Universe is conspiring FOR YOU and your Highest Good and Wisdom – always. 

If everything happens for a reason, it’s not just the things we perceive as good, but rather everything.

We may not know exactly why this had to happen right now or in the way it did, but your job isn’t to analyze that at this moment.

Your job is close the gap of realizing that “silver lining” moment by practicing Gratitude in the Now. The sooner that happens, the sooner you’re back in flow with the Universal life energy flowing through and around you.

In what ways – even unconventional – can you be grateful for this situation? It may feel difficult at first, but that’s the point. Keep going, because when you find reasons to be grateful in difficult situations, you are training your brain by creating new neural pathways and grooves to build greater resilience and overall perspective shifts.

Step 3: Consciously release it and LET IT GO

Fully release the situation or difficult experience from your body and energy field. 

The heart is the largest electromagnetic field in the body which can be measured up to 3ft away in every direction, according to the HeartMath Institute. Furthermore, the magnetic field produced by the heart is more than 100 times greater in strength than the field generated by the brain.

Yet, where we go astray, is that we don’t take the time to consciously release trapped emotions, thoughts, or situations that occurred from our heart and energy field.

It’s actually quite easy to do it. Simply write down in a journal what you are consciously releasing, slowly speak it out loud to yourself 3 times, and see the corresponding energy leave your body.

Don’t ruminate on the difficult situation or send conscious thought energy to it anymore. Once you’ve fully accepted it (step 1) and treated it with gratitude (step 2), now is the time to consciously and intentionally LET IT GO.

Step 4: Choose to Repattern

For me, this goes a step beyond simply choosing again. This is a choice for you to completely repattern an old belief system, a habitual reaction, or a negative thought spiral.

This is where you make the personal choice to not only let it all go, but also choose the feeling, thought, and forward moving next step you want (joy, productivity, healing, etc).

Once that choice is made, you go even another step further by ingraining this choice on the superconscious level. Here, you send a signal to your thought-consciousness that you are now consciously choosing to repattern old ways of responding to circumstances like this.

Simply close your eyes, take a few deep breaths, focus your attention at the point between the eyebrows, and tell your Higher Self exactly what you are doing and why. This will reduce the frequency with which you face situations like this (which are your mechanisms for growth), and more deeply engrain how you are repatterning old systems of being, behaving, and responding.

Do note though, you may be given a similar situation a short-while after to really prove to yourself if you have embodied this capacity to repattern as you have told yourself.

Next time you’re faced with difficult or trying life situation, give these 4 Steps to Overcoming Difficult Life Situations a try and see how you feel!